Handwritten

Small Town, Big Life

The Education of Me sans Cinderella January 29, 2009

Filed under: advice,happiness,life,perfect — handwritten @ 10:38 pm
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The words often flow easily from my fingers to my keyboard, but today I’m having a hard time figuring out what I want to say. One great thing I can share is that I’ve got a new guy in my life. It’s really fantastic to experience the simple pleasures of understanding another person the way I feel I’m beginning to understand him. The relationship is still in its infancy, but like a child, relationships arern’t made to become instantly mature with the first bite of nurishment.

Not that I’m greatly experienced in this area, but I do know from observation of great couples in my life, that you can’t expect a relationship to be without its bumps and dips, highs and mountains. From what I’ve learned from people with many more years experience in this area, people with happy and fufilled relationships, is that relationships are work. Anyone that tells you they aren’t has either not been in a relationship, or is lying to your face. 

cinderella-3Growing up, as a young girl, I was emmersed in the fairytales of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and her seven dwarfs. I inadvertantly was taught to believe that I would be whisked away by a perfect Prince Charming and carry on with a perfectly wonderful life. The one fault about Cinderella and the like, is that Disney never shows you life after the whisking.  It’s not always easy. It’s not always exciting. Even during the whisking, things can get sticky, complicated and confusing. The idea of perfection is hard to outgrow, and many of us (girls) never do.

Outgrowing this notion of perfection is hard for me. True to my nature, I want things to be perfect. I want things to go the way I expect them to go, and when they don’t I am the one that is disappointed. This mindset is not a great thing for living in the imperfect world of human relationships, but over some several years now, I’ve learned that perfection is not what we should strive for in our dealings with others. What we should strive for is understanding, appreciation and respect.

If you can continually live within these three mantras, I fully believe that you can survive anything that may cause upset within a relationship. Maybe I’m insanely naive, but I’m going to keep trying it out and maybe, just maybe I’m right.

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Letting myself write January 13, 2007

Filed under: distraction,perfect,Writing — handwritten @ 4:51 am

I have a hard time letting myself write. I want things to be perfect, to flow out of my brain, down my arms, through my fingers and onto my keyboard – perfectly. This rarely happens. I get caught up in the structures that I’ve been taught throughout my years in school. I constantly have the voices of teachers and professors in my mind telling me where to put the adjectives, how to link two thoughts, how to begin a paragraph.

 

The amount of time I spend writing is transverse to the amount of time I spend thinking about writing. If I wrote as much as I thought I’d have volumes and volumes of work. I guess the main theme is fear. I’m afraid. I’m afraid I might be bad. I’m afraid I might be good. I’m afraid to get corrected and afraid that in the attempt to correct my writing the corrector will destroy the art of it.

 

I don’t consider myself an artist. I try to think of writing in less lofty ways. The act of writing is simple in that I take thoughts and put them on paper. It’s no different than talking. Interestingly enough I prefer the way I write to the way I talk. My thoughts flow clearly onto paper but in the act of speaking my words often get jumbled. Or, worse yet, I get interrupted. The best part about writing is that you can’t get interrupted. You say what you have to say and then someone reads it. You don’t have to stop mid-sentence, wait for the person who’s interrupted you to say what they have to say and then try to remember what the heck you were trying to say in the first place.

 

I’m easily distracted. I guess that’s my weakness. One of them at least. I get distracted by noises and the television. I get distracted by the silence when I rid myself of the distracting noise. I get detracted by my thoughts and my typing. I get distracted by hunger or thirst. But, with distractions come new ideas, new theories. And with those come writing. My love. My life.