Small Town, Big Life

Thugs with money … and rednecks, too. March 14, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — handwritten @ 3:02 am

There is really nothing funnier than a thug with money. And, rednecks too. As you flip through the MTVs, E!s and VH1s, you see the immense humor in the spending sprees of people who have suddenly come in to money and have no idea what to realistically do with it all.

Example #1: MTV Cribs

Episode after episode after obscenely overindulgent episode, viewers get a glimpse into the lives of rap artists who have 17-bedroom mansions, 42 sports cars and 15 SUVs loaded with the latest and greatest in gadgets. DVD players are mating with iPod ports and having baby gold-plated seat-belt buckles. Is it really necessary to line the interior roof of your BMW 700 series with Swarovski crystals spelling out your latest album title? I mean, really?!

Example #2: Any young celebritante

Houses, cars, closets the size of a small independent country – these are what young celebritantes are made of. They have so much money they don’t realize it when they buy that third house in Malibu, that fifth Mercedes convertible or that 600th pair of Louboutins. When do they stop?

And, there excesses don’t stop at material things. They purchase booze and drugs by the truckloads then spend months in “rehab” at a retreat in the hills of Malibu, drinking Diet Coke and smoking their Marlboro Lights while they get pedicures and accupuncture. 

Example #3: Britney Spears, Kellie Pickler and others

Britney Spears is in general white trash. I should know, I grew up with a dozen girls like her. They have no social graces, and the more money you throw at them the more obvious is their lack of sophistication. Kellie Pickler gets a country hit and buys the biggest fake breasts her advance check will get her. Then, she displays them on national television and acts like she didn’t spend her money on anything but shoes.

The guys are just as bad. Pick any one of the number of quick-rich skateboarders, bikers or “rappers” and you will see a heavy-pocketed redneck. No amount of money can teach you to be decent.

My suggestion to all you future richies – get etiquette training and don’t be so blatantly obnoxious when it comes to your spending. It leaves a bad taste in our mouths. 


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