Small Town, Big Life

Letting myself write January 13, 2007

Filed under: distraction,perfect,Writing — handwritten @ 4:51 am

I have a hard time letting myself write. I want things to be perfect, to flow out of my brain, down my arms, through my fingers and onto my keyboard – perfectly. This rarely happens. I get caught up in the structures that I’ve been taught throughout my years in school. I constantly have the voices of teachers and professors in my mind telling me where to put the adjectives, how to link two thoughts, how to begin a paragraph.


The amount of time I spend writing is transverse to the amount of time I spend thinking about writing. If I wrote as much as I thought I’d have volumes and volumes of work. I guess the main theme is fear. I’m afraid. I’m afraid I might be bad. I’m afraid I might be good. I’m afraid to get corrected and afraid that in the attempt to correct my writing the corrector will destroy the art of it.


I don’t consider myself an artist. I try to think of writing in less lofty ways. The act of writing is simple in that I take thoughts and put them on paper. It’s no different than talking. Interestingly enough I prefer the way I write to the way I talk. My thoughts flow clearly onto paper but in the act of speaking my words often get jumbled. Or, worse yet, I get interrupted. The best part about writing is that you can’t get interrupted. You say what you have to say and then someone reads it. You don’t have to stop mid-sentence, wait for the person who’s interrupted you to say what they have to say and then try to remember what the heck you were trying to say in the first place.


I’m easily distracted. I guess that’s my weakness. One of them at least. I get distracted by noises and the television. I get distracted by the silence when I rid myself of the distracting noise. I get detracted by my thoughts and my typing. I get distracted by hunger or thirst. But, with distractions come new ideas, new theories. And with those come writing. My love. My life.


Giving it all and then some. January 5, 2007

Filed under: advice,brother,giving,working,Writing — handwritten @ 11:56 pm

I started the new year with grandiose resolutions – writing on this blog everyday, exercising everyday, eating healthier, being more thoughtful, being more creative.  I’ve accomplished most of those things but you can tell from my posts that I’ve put off the “writing on this blog everyday” thing. I had intentions to do so but something my brother said to me the other day made me realize that everything doesn’t have to be perfect.

After complaining that I was upset with myself because I didn’t feel I was putting 100% into everything I’m doing – working, writing, exercising, creativeness – he told me this: “You only have 100% to put into things. If you put 100% into writing you can’t put even 10% into anything else because you don’t have it to give. You have to put what you got into what you’re doing at the time and hope everything else floats along until you have something to give to them.”

God Bless that Boy.