It’s a Wonderful Family Christmas 2008! December 24, 2008

It’s December 23, and my family and I just celebrated our Christmas with an exciting gift exchange. For those of you who don’t know, I’m still in my 20s and live at home with my parents and two younger brothers (both of which are in college and also live at home.)

So, as tradition would have it, we gathered ’round our living room and began the fun time of exchanging gifts. Unlike our normal tradition, we exchanged these gifts on the night before the Night Before Christmas. We usually do our gift exchange on Christmas Eve night after attending Christmas at my mother’s parents. But, my younger brother finally got his way (only because I did not opppose), and we opened gifts tonight.

My parents were showered with gifts. Some of the highlights – Mom finally got that jacket from The North Face she’d been eyeing for over a year. Dad got an iPod speaker system. One brother got a Fossil leather-banded watch and a turn table that allows him to rip his LPs directly to his iPod (he’s a huge music buff). The other brother got the latest iPod Touch and some high-tech earphones.

I thought I’d share my Christmas haul here. I’m so grateful and blessed! Thanks again Momma, Daddy and the boys.

iPod Classic, Silver, 120GB

iPod Classic - The Must Have Gift The Ultimate iPod GuideSo I can use the iPod.

 Fearless by Taylor Swift

Think what you want, I love Taylor!

 
Lady Antebellum by Lady Antebellum

The best up-and-coming country artists.

Back to Basics by Christina Aguillera (thanks brother!)

Love Christina!

 
Sephora Ultimate Makeup Kit

Everything I'll ever need.

 
Belkin TuneCast Universal (thanks brother!)

So I can listen to my iPod in the car!

 
Artisan Silver Earrings (from a local artist)

 
Sterling Silver Ring

 
George Strait T-Shirt (I’m still a country girl after all…)

 
Wedgy Monogrammed Umbrella in Pixie Pink and Limeade

Bookmarks

Japanese tape and stationery

I got a whole assortment of these fun tapes.

 
Merry Christmas!!

Expectations and False Fairy Tales December 17, 2008

It’s been no secret to those around me that I’ve had a rough few days. Nothing particularly is wrong. I’m just having a “pity party” as my brother likes to call it. Everyone has their problems. Everyone has their issues. But, I don’t like having them.

I like things to be perfect. I like things to go according to “the plan.” I like things the way I like them, but nothing ever goes accordingly. I feel immense pressure internally from the false impression of expecation I get from others. I feel like much is expected of me and I can’t accomplish it all.

My mother swears noone expects anything of me. She swears noone is putting pressure on me. I have to respectfully disagree. Everyone has expectations of others. I know I do. And, I am usually disappointed because noone ever plays by my rules. They each play by there own, and mine and their’s rarely match up.

I’m blaming it on kindergarten.

Little girls grow up with fairy tales.

Don’t they say everything you’ll ever need to know you learned in kindergarten? Well, I don’t know if I exactly agree with that statement, but I did learn a heck of a lot about what others expect of you. You’re expected to conform. You’re expected to not ask questions of those in charge. You’re expected to walk in a straight line on the right side of the hall. You’re expected to keep quite and not express your opinions unless asked and then you are told you’re wrong if what you say isn’t what the teacher wants. You are rewarded for being a “good little girl.” You’re given stars, candy and extra attention if you make the best grade or do the best work. If you’re not the best, not the brightest, you become invisible.

Who wants to be invisible?

Becoming the best and the brightest is the quickest and easiest way to become noticed. Once it starts in kindergarten, it filters over into the following school years and eventually into your personal life. You’re read fairy tales about princes and fair maidens, and eventually you expect these fairy tales to come true. This is not just my view point, but many girls I’ve come in contact with over the years feel the same way. Single, married, divorced – they all believe(d) fairy tales come true. You expect them to, but they don’t and you’re left with unrealistic expectations and disappointment.

Within religious circles it’s even worse. As a young girl, you’re expected to be quite and not ask questions. You’re expected to let the men in your life tell you who you should be. We often get caught up in the idea of perfection and forget that we’re all flawed.

I’m preaching to the choir here. I’ve already expressed my need for perfection. I’ve tried and tried to let things go. I’ve tried to not worry about life and it’s daily inperfections. I’ve tried, but have not succeeded.

I guess I have two options. Be perfectly unhappy or be imperfectly happy.

I think I’ll choose the later.